What clients are saying…
Are Luminos Listening clients really getting results? Why choose this approach, of the many out there? What’s it like working with Emily? We’ve interviewed several clients in depth to provide you with substantial answers to these key questions.
Below you’ll find a brief excerpt from each interview, followed by a link to access the complete interview in PDF format.
JD, Project Manager, Silver Springs, Maryland
What was going in your life that caused you to seek Emily’s support? I was suffering from anxiety and depression about my work, my relationship, my parenting. It was affecting everything in my life. I felt completely adrift. I lost trust in myself for a long time. I didn’t know what I wanted out of life, and even if I did, I didn’t know how to go about getting it. The Inner Listening Intensive program taught me a whole new way of looking at myself and my feelings. It was more than just a paradigm shift or a new perspective. It changed my outlook on life.
Can you describe how this change of outlook affected you? Yes. At work, for example, I was terrified of failure. Let’s say I’d get assigned a new project. Even though I had never screwed up and the project was actually looking like it was going to go well, I’d start freaking out about everything that could go wrong. At best I’d procrastinate doing the very things that would prevent anything from going wrong. At worst I’d be almost paralyzed with anxiety.
And how is it now at work? Now, I live in the present instead of worrying about the past and the future. Even though my job is largely about planning the future, I’m able to function where I am right now. I have clarity what I can control, and what I can’t. I’ve learned to trust myself again. [Click here to read full interview….]
JCT, Copywriter, Salt Lake City, Utah
What was going on in your life that led you to seek support? I had anxiety and I didn’t know what to do about it. I didn’t even realize until later how much it as affecting every facet of my life. I got more and more fragile I began to push people and opportunities away from me because I thought they were causing my anxiety. I’d tell myself, “If I got away from this boyfriend, surely my anxiety would stop… If I quit that job, my anxiety would stop…. If I moved to a new state, my anxiety would stop.” I was running from my own life. I felt this emptiness growing in me. I don’t think I knew what happiness felt like.
Had you tried other ways of getting relief before you found Emily? Yes. I found myself in a relationship that I wasn’t willing to let anxiety take from me. I made the choice to stay and stare fear in the face. This brought on months of the worst anxiety I have ever experienced. I was scared of being alone, of being rejected, of failing—scared something was wrong with me. It was debilitating.
I realized I was reaching a breaking point. So I began searching for answers. I worked with a traditional therapist but found it heightened my anxiety. I tried medications, but they made me numb. I tried a lot of scam “fix it now” material. I saw myself almost getting worse. I was getting frantic and desperate for something real. I finally found myself on Emily’s website and made the choice to do the Inner Listening Intensive Program with her.
What was it like working with her? Emily opened my eyes to an entirely new and beautiful way of “treating” my anxiety. I learned that until I was willing to take responsibility for my feelings, all of my feelings, good or bad, I would continue to suffer. I learned how to heal all of the false beliefs I had that were the source of my anxiety and pain. I learned how to gently love every bit of me, even the darkest parts. [click here to read full interview…]
JS, Business Analyst, Bedford, New Hampshire
What led you to seek support? I felt I was ready to deal with some things that I’d avoided working on for a long time. I was always looking outside myself for validation so I could feel good about myself. I’d wake up in the morning thinking anxious thoughts over and over.
So how are things different for you now? Are there things that feel possible to you now that might not have felt possible before? There are number of ways things are different for me as a result of the Inner Listening Intensive Program, but the main one is that I know I am responsible for how I feel, and I can use what I’ve learned through this work to improve myself through my actions.
When I started the program, I was used to my pattern of negative thinking and getting there was easy. A negative thought at the beginning of the day (usually, when I’d wake up) would put me in a familiar negative thought pattern that I could fuel with more negative thoughts for the rest of the day. I didn’t have the awareness I do now of how to work with those parts of me.
Now, I am able to recognize what is happening much sooner and use what I have learned in the program to work with the negative thoughts. I feel like everything is possible now that I have a process in place to deal with whatever comes up for me. I am comfortable knowing that I can take care of myself and don’t need to rely on others to meet my needs. This is really important to me because as I said before, I was always looking outside myself for validation.
But I’d say the biggest benefit is a newfound ability to discern if something is really right for me, which leads me to confident action. I can use the skills I’ve learned to sense what feels right in every area of my life. Once I feel what is right inside, I can act upon that with confidence. It has been amazing to discover everything that was there inside me—lots that I didn’t know was there, before I started the program. [click here to read full interview…]
CV, Vice President at Non-Profit, Oakland, California
What challenges were you facing that led you to seek support? I was working in a really toxic environment. The top manager was a bully, so harsh and cruel that I’d almost get physically sick every time I had to meet with her. Sometimes I’d come out of meetings devastated and demoralized. I was getting ill more often than usual and missing work because of that.
That would have been tough by itself, but what made it way, way worse was that at this same time, a vision I had dreamed of realizing for some years was starting to come to fruition. It was a vision of creating a new model for scaling up the collective impact in my industry.
The model offers many advantages including, improved quality and efficiency, and it is replicable on a large scale so I was incredibly excited about it. But I had fears about putting myself out there with it. I was afraid about what others in my field would think about my ideas. And I had good reason to fear that putting it out there would make my work situation worse. There was a pattern of retaliation when staff tried to do something innovative beyond the status quo.
So you were dealing with a high level of stress at work. That’s right. There was this collision between my vision and my work situation. Focused Listening Sessions with Emily provided pivotal support for me during that time. She’d reflect back to me the strength and vision she saw in me, that I had a hard time seeing for myself. [click here to read full interview…]
KM, Technical Writer, Halifax, Nova Scotia
What was going on in your life that led you to seek support? I had this chronic feeling there was something wrong with me, and I felt a lot of shame about that. I had a difficult childhood. It seems clear, looking back, that my mom suffered from some kind of severe but undiagnosed mental illness. My dad wasn’t in the picture and I was scared of my mom a lot. I had to care for my siblings at quite a young age. I ended up in a very abusive relationship in high school and struggled with an eating disorder. I got so thin I had to be hospitalized for three months in college.
It sounds like you really didn’t have any loving role models. I know that now, but at the time, my family life was just normal to me – I didn’t know anything different. I carried on as best I could, got married and had a son. But I had constant health issues. When my son was young, I had a physical breakdown. My doctor thought I had MS, but the tests all came out negative. In my search to understand what was wrong, I stumbled across the Inner Bonding website. It felt like, “Oh! Now I understand. I have no loving adult whatsoever.” I realized I needed to develop a loving adult within.
How did you decide to work with Emily? I met Emily in a weekly chat she led. I was drawn to the gentle and encouraging presence she brought to the chat. It was a taste of the greatest gift that Emily gives me, which is complete acceptance and allowance for whatever is going on in me.
It was revolutionary to me that I could just slow down and be right in the moment with whatever was happening in me, as opposed to trying to get away from myself, or forcing myself to be a certain way. It opened up my eyes to a new way of being with myself. I realized this was the kind of relationship I wanted to develop with myself. [click here to read full interview…]